Bill Cosby, long regarded as “America’s Father,” may have to amend that moniker to “America’s Creepiest Father”after new allegations emerge that indicate he’ll need a closet consultant to organize all his skeletons.
In search of friendly territory, Cosby has agreed to co-host with both Jerry Springer and Maury Povich during “Sweeps Week” and has already ordered “I’m Not Guilty” Sweaters to wear on air.
Said a “Povich” producer: “Mr. Cosby must know that whatever he did pales in comparison to the actions of our normal guests. Nowhere in the charges against him so far have we heard about incest or bestiality…or both at the same time!”.
Added the producer: “Speaking of bestiality, we used to have a steadfast rule against covering non-human species but reluctantly accepted that the animal kingdom represented a whole new interesting area of investigation.”
“By the way, we’re not sure if Mr. Cosby will be involved in any ‘Who’s Your Daddy?’ segments but just in case, we’re stocking up on DNA kits to use backstage!”