Real Life Lessons I Learned Through Gaming, v1.0

Who says you could never learn anything from a video game?

…Ok, besides our parents when they walked in to find us, zombified in front of our game systems and too close to the tv for our own good. But, these games we have grown up playing, are they really so bad? Are there some redeemable things we can learn from them? Of course!

Here, in no particular order, are the things that being a gamer has taught me…

First of all, a higher risk will almost certainly yield a higher reward. This is true for pretty much any game I can think of. Don’t believe me? Take a gander through your achievements on your Xbox or Playstation, and then try playing the last game you beat on a different difficulty than you originally beat it on. And in real life? The more you strive, the better you will do. Usually. Unless the man keeps kicking you down.

Secondly, apparently my mom sleeps around. A lot. And likes younger boys. It’s okay though, because so does yours. In the world of online gaming, all of our moms are cougar whores, so get used to it.

Now for my game-specific lessons:

Minecraft logo

 

 

Minecraft

Minecraft has taught me to never, ever waste your diamonds on a hoe. It just ain’t worth it.

Oregon Trail

The Oregon Trail:

If you didn’t play this classic get-out-of-schoolwork game on the macs in the computer lab when you were in grade school, you aren’t old enough to understand any of this post. Go here and educate. What did it teach me, in my formative years? Take only what you need on a trip, and if you see vultures, hide the goddamned kids and weaker party members.

Tetris

Tetris:

This game has been around and available on pretty much any and every single gaming platform since practically the dawn of time. Not really. But it is one of the original strategy games, and I apply the mechanics of it in my life every day. How, you ask? By teaching me how to store boxes of stuff I haven’t used in years without looking like a hoarder. What do you mean, I can’t keep all of my art projects from grade five?

closet, hoarding, tetris

Grand Theft Auto

Grand Theft Auto, all games

Yes, the GTA games do promote violence, misogyny and perpetuate all the negative stereotypes possible in North America. Does it really turn our kids into hateful, racist criminals? No. No more than playing Farmville or Sim City makes me a goddamned farmer or city planner. But that is a whole other post and for another day. Important lessons learned in this game? You definitely will not survive plummeting off the top of a skyscraper, if you kill a prostitute afterwards you get your money back, and also, I can’t drive while shooting a gun to save my life. Literally. It took me forever to grasp that ability.

Do any of you have any awesome gaming life lessons to share? Drop me a line at [email protected], and you could be included in version 2.0!

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