Scary-accurate horoscopes!!

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Stephanie Judith Tanner!! That is incorrect. And to quote yourself: HOW RUDE. No, horoscopes tell us things about our lives and personalities based on when we were born. But duh!

Horoscope for October 8:

Aries: You are a human being.

Taurus: You breathe on a daily basis.

Gemini: You will blink more than twice today.

Cancer: You are related to at least four people.

Leo: You have a name.

Virgo: You were born.

Libra: You will die. (Woah, that sounded like a super crabby fortune cookie)

Scorpio: You need water to keep doing this living thing.

Sagittarius: You will turn one year older on your next birthday.

Capricorn: You will read until the end of this sentence.

Aquarius: You exist.

Pisces: You will Snapchat many selfies this month.

Now, hands up if your horoscope seemed incorrect. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? That’s what I thought. We can all admit (myself included) that after reading horoscopes in the past we’ve thought “O-M-G, that’s sooo me! How in the H-E-double hockey sticks do they do that??”.

The truth is horoscopes are actually written in a very general way to fit many different personality blueprints. When we have that ‘WTF’ reaction and believe that our horoscopes can be attributed to our astrological sign and more specifically ourselves, it’s called ‘The Barnum Effect’. Psychologists who’ve studied this say we tend to fall for it because, not only are the horoscopes worded so generally and therefore nearly impossible to disagree with, but that they provide a desired feeling of control over the unknown in our lives.

Since the generic horoscopes are open to a world of interpretation and can be spun in countless ways, they’re really just saying things that must apply to every living homosapien on the planet Earth.

So the next time you read something attached to your zodiac sign that says “You can be very outgoing and social, but you also need your alone time.”, remember that it’s not only you who needs a day at home in sweatpants to recuperate after a period of severe social butterflyness.

Excuse my exaggerated horoscopes, but since I learned about The Barnum Effect, that is now how I read all of the ones I come across. Check out this page for more information on The Barnum Effect (and watch people who’ve fallen for it and are kicking themselves):

Don’t forget to stay skeptical, kids!


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