“Most Wanted” Terrorist Lived Like College Frat Boy!

Eric Michael Frein, who complained about rampant commercialism and lashed out by allegedly ambushing two state troopers in Blooming Grove, Pa., then went into hiding for weeks, was described as “living like a college frat boy” by law enforcement officers who finally tracked him down and arrested him at a remote airport hangar.

“In the end, he wasn’t all that hard to find,” said, Linda Lawless, a spokesperson for the Pennsylvania State Police, who spoke on the assurance of anonymity. “While he apparently lived in a series of mud huts and survived on grubs and his own urine until he found the hangar, he still found time for the hookup website “Plenty Of Fish” where he found and contacted “outdoorsy-type” women.  We eventually located him through the cell tower that carried his calls.”

The airport hangar had apparently once been the site of a large party and still carried a large stash of unused party supplies which Frein partook of.

The place had a bed, chair and other furniture fashioned out of beer cans and porn magazines glued together, and actually displayed “a lot of Feng Shui,” according to a local reporter with a taste for decoration…

FBI profiler Ray Martin, who was one of the arresting officers, said he was surprised at what he found: “We expected Frein to be crouched in a corner of the hangar, clutching a rifle and screaming about the failures of government and how our society deserved better.”

“Instead, we found a guy lounging around in Dockers and a ‘Penn State is For Lovers’ t-shirt, listening to Taylor Swift songs;  He was friendly and offered us cold ones, which we accepted since it had been a long day, but drank later, of course, when we were off the clock!”

Added Martin: “We also noticed a large bong pipe under his bed but marijuana was the least of his problems!”

Marin explained that all the scrapes Frein had on his forehead and nose after the arrest must have been from shaving.

 

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